A Decade Ago…

Today I got up and put out the dogs. Just like ten years ago. I came back in to start my day. Just like ten years ago. But so much has changed in this decade from those moments to this…

I had just put out Paint and Bobo, I came in and turned on the TV. I saw a jet liner slam into the World Trade Center. I thought that it was a trailer for a movie. I turned to light a cigarette, and an inner voice said; ” Turn around and look!”  I saw the second plane slam into the second tower. I heard about the Pentagon being hit. I knew that it was no movie. It was real world and I was watching it all unfold as it was happening. I snapped out of it and ran into the bedroom and yelled at the ex that we were under attack. I have to give him credit he almost levitated out of that bed. He bitched later that he thought that I meant that we specifically were under attack. Nice. We sat and watched it again and again. I wanted to do something.  I wanted to kill the bastards responsible for the death and devastation that I was seeing. I felt helpless.

Ten years ago so much was different.

I was struggling with survival issues. I didn’t own a computer, I didn’t own a car, I didn’t have cable, I didn’t own a cell phone,  I had so much less of everything, I was out of work, Nurse maiding a worthless POS who was all but pimping me. I was younger, slimmer, braver, and more determined.

Since then I have struck out on my own, I have become computer literate, attended college, become a LPN, quit smoking, made use of such technologies as cell phones, the internet, cable, firearms and weaponry, and I own a 2002 Mustang. My life is more comfortable.

I am watching the 9/11 memorial. We got the bastard that planned it. Cold comfort.

Life was precarious then, But it had an innocence that I will never see again.

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