W = weather
D = debt
d= ability to pay debt
T = time since Christmas
Q = time since failing New Year’s resolutions
M = low motivational levels
N = feeling the need to take action

RESOLVED: I will not cook any more than I absolutely have to. That’s right, I am going to eat out more and say “Fuck cooking.” I figure one meal a day every day ain’t that expensive. I can keep fruits, nuts, and veggies in the house, along with other snack foods. There is a pizzeria across the street, and a cafe around the corner. If I want a fancy dinner I can drive to the local bar and grill. If I want coffee I will go around the corner to the cafe. I live alone and cooking for one is expensive and time consuming. I’ve cooked for myself and others most of my adult life and I’m over it.

It’ll be more fun to eat out anyway.

No more dishes and clean up either… [/WIN]!!!1!!

This could go on all through the season.

This to me is uhyggeligt. I am not getting up at 0′Dark:Early hours to kill something. No.

— Abraham

Excerpted from the workshop in Philadelphia, PA on Thursday, May 12th, 2005 # 234

Our Love,

I sold my Jeep for one thousand dollars. I’m going to send some money to my girl and put the rest on my card. I will order the blue flag root, The Abre Camino and some other things.

I had just put out Paint and Bobo, I came in and turned on the TV. I saw a jet liner slam into the World Trade Center. I thought that it was a trailer for a movie. I turned to light a cigarette, and an inner voice said; ” Turn around and look!”  I saw the second plane slam into the second tower. I heard about the Pentagon being hit. I knew that it was no movie. It was real world and I was watching it all unfold as it was happening. I snapped out of it and ran into the bedroom and yelled at the ex that we were under attack. I have to give him credit he almost levitated out of that bed. He bitched later that he thought that I meant that we specifically were under attack. Nice. We sat and watched it again and again. I wanted to do something.  I wanted to kill the bastards responsible for the death and devastation that I was seeing. I felt helpless.

Ten years ago so much was different.

I was struggling with survival issues. I didn’t own a computer, I didn’t own a car, I didn’t have cable, I didn’t own a cell phone,  I had so much less of everything, I was out of work, Nurse maiding a worthless POS who was all but pimping me. I was younger, slimmer, braver, and more determined.

Since then I have struck out on my own, I have become computer literate, attended college, become a LPN, quit smoking, made use of such technologies as cell phones, the internet, cable, firearms and weaponry, and I own a 2002 Mustang. My life is more comfortable.

I am watching the 9/11 memorial. We got the bastard that planned it. Cold comfort.

Life was precarious then, But it had an innocence that I will never see again.

The thunder wasn’t so much cracking or crashing as rumbling. The sky lit up with that electric purple that cant be imitated. There was a lot of cloud to cloud lightning. Midway through the whole business showing itself quarter sized hail fell. It made a tattooing sound on the tin awnings and air conditioners. The wind drove the rain diagonally and gusted to almost horizontal at times.

I opened the front door and one of the windows. The fresh damp air felt good and smelled of pavement, rainwater, and ozone.

The rain washed the sidewalk clean, But it also washed the rosemary out of it’s pots. I had to quickly re-pot them. I did and I hope that they didn’t shock out too bad.